Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
