Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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