dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
