You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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