Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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