Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
