Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
