Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
