you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
