I accidentally had phone sex last night
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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