my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
