when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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