Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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