Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
