The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if only i could text you this smell
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
