three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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