Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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