Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
