So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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