so explain again why im purple
no
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
