My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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