Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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