Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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