the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
