So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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