why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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