He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
