i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
