Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
