we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
