Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
