How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
