With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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