sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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