so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
