I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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