Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
