Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
