Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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