No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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