I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
