I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
