Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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