okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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