i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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