Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
