I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
