Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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