If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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