The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
