Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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