My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
